call for inspiration

location: Greenpeace office
environment: avoiding the tick tok of the clock, the hushed breathing of all the other activist training particpants who are sleeping in preparation of the 6am activities. now my mind is a race, the itching kicks in, i am fidigity and ansy. I smuggle my way on to a computer to again loose a opportunity to my lack of bi-ligualism.itomoroow i swear it will be better but gradually the time passes without kesho ever turning around. i loook back years, same goals but without an ounce of progression. litttle efort makes sarah a silly anglophone. the allergic anger fades to a sad, the one i feel when i wake up and have to make maps, instead of pursue any of the own ideas. I carry around so much resentment and posion. Generally i save it up to cry when no one is around me but sometimes i throw it up on to my closes union steward. dam the winter, dam the urbanites who see my eyes but refuse to breathe my air dam the plot to a xrayed film dam the very idea of being a tormented or even a famous artist. China before the olympica, new zealand on someone elses dime. visitn friends in france and sweden and scotland. i want to live in a car this summer. to face paint whereever the car can take me. to follow my whims and not my common sense. to have romance where i can be free enought to share emotions without surrending them, to inspire people to love but not the overwhellming magnet which draws the poles off course.