capricorninpiseces

location:ottawa, somerset & arthur
environment:healing , nurturing and nonviolent communication

A STORM ROLLS OUT OF MY EYES LIKE IT IS JANUARY 8TH 2008. DUSK IN LONDON BRINGS A SUPRISING SPRING-TYPE SHOWER MELTING ALL THE WINTER AWAY, GIVING THE GRASS A BURST OF GREEN SHADE. WHEN I WALK TO THE BUS STOP AND BACK I CAN SMELL THE GROWING, THE LEAF MOULD AND I HEAR IT APPROACH, WATCHING THE GUSTS FROM BEHIND MY CURTAIN.
I TRY TO GRASP. AT AN IDENTIFY OF CALIBRE IN MY CULTURE OF COMMERCE. AT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT MEASURED IN NOSTALGIA. AT THE BEGINING OF A SONG SO STRONG IN MY HEART I CANT RECOGNIZE IT IN SOCIAL CONTEXT.
AT THE MINUTE AND 9 SECONDS SHAVED OFFF THE ONLY MASTERCOPY, TO LEAVE ONLY THE MUDANE EXAMINATION OF LEAVES & BEANS.
AT A CLEAR HEAD. I AM STIR CRAZY, I CAN RECOGNIZE IT BY THE NUMBER OF SNACKS I NEED TO MAKE IT THRU THE NIGHT. BY THE CYCLE I REPEAT IN MY ELATIONS IN THE PHYSICAL SPHERE. I MAKE PILES AND LISTS AND WONDER MY MIND TO ASK, WHAT MORE CAN BE THERE TO CREATE. WITH ALL THE GREAT WORKS THAT HAVE BEEN A)CREATED B)CONSUMED & EXPERIENCED C) LAY IN TATTERS AT THE INVENTION AND PERVERSION AHEAD OF ME RE-READING AND PROOFING TO DELETE ALMOST ALL OWNERSHIP. SOLE PROPRIETER OF WORDS
Anger of mistake to walk of shame in the twilight when the haze comes out to play and the shadows are the longest. The added weight of time + distance = resposibilty. Equasions and agreements amash imaginary daydreams.
So strong&dominating sometimes there is space for nothing else, squeezing every inch of energy from all around. I barely hold a sheild, shaking and waving, signing the deed of the moment. a flash of perfectly spent time. then repeat
A fist of notes, i see the sketch on the top, a gesture; of my own feminine form, the backside.
`
Crap bike trinty park, looner mooner. August 28, tuesday
2 days now i have been feeling a dull ache,tight pain under my ribs, beneath my larger breast. On my left side. I acknowledge and appreciate both the strange pain in its entire symptimization but at the same time feel tremendous pulse. A wealth of health. The symetry of fear, this minds great white death is balanced completey with the bliss of body being able to breathe. Aware of that feeling, its whole weight in my heart, inside my skin reaching outwards.
i dare print
Tonight i will sleep & awake with insight intact from my dream world.
`august 29 excerpt of a letter
Clear intention to be honest with myself. In the pressence of deciet, love becomes abuse- a control that stangles the reative spirit so vital. I am fluid, flexible to the changing winds of emotion and situation. I build things slowly with solitude and scope, allowing years to pass still solidifing my core sacred self. {Everyday i am granted} i will continue on this journey uncertain of the destination only trusting the process of power. i commend every courageous step and patiently pine the pauses. A wish to be&do by my own defined reasons. when time is time take it or leave it
I am infininte and am recieving with all genuine interest any place or thing. i prefer to live day by day allowing new adventures and opportunities to arrive and influence my direction. I value your feeling equal to my freedom; fiercely.

arms in the air

location:london
INT.
I view the contrast in the clouds. With some ancient connection I can feel the wind whipping the trees forth and too. I feel it with my eyes. I can't hear it through the tangle of indoor noises. The warm glow in the sky is carnation pink and gold.... Blown slowly into an orange blossom. Not in Canada specifically, just in the stratosphere of dreams. Is this where the sensational and the material swap spit? Can the idea further be stretched towards the realms of our economic service and manufacturing fields? They meet where the bargain is struck.
I feel the great organ of sensors; the skin barrier of my shame. The playing field of egotism and vanity. (Self-loathing & deceit) A birthplace for care, the joys of a loving touch. A newborn baby and the petals of a flower. I recognize my shadow more so, when I focus my thoughts on the perceived needs of others. My psychic self, aware of the information simply floating before me, is holding the energy tug of war in my hands. Even stronger when instead I search inside, sifting the seven layers of soul to find the gritty sand of my desires. This is the time when creativity is fixing the fridge with a stick of Freedent. I see the spider webs in the dusty sun connecting everything to everything else.
I know the rules of the game. I know the truth in the core of me. I acknowledge the often-inconsistent contradiction in terms. It's the same and different. Neither here nor there. I throw my arms to the air.

silence after the storm

location: king adn parlimemt

environment:after a day of still calm holding, adn much coffeeee and dope.

i took a survey. today desciribing myself in certain pysical and emotional stamets momentarily truethful. kaptha. anything to get a cgrasp on they way today is now.....bleeds into toomrrow. vata. i have but a morunful blessing, a low bellyied roar in my mouth, a thunderstorm drops rain, sliding over the shingles. i move tothe window for a better view. i wait and love and project my lonelyness intowards a strange social aquwardness. a plane flies overhead the shift to footsteps on the floor above my ceiling. the klinking of glasses. streams of love thru the air, past oceans and barriers built on ideas and time.
vive la process
i love you amy, happy marriage and blessed be the biking.

soft grey rabbit parental faux pas.

environment:\soft grey rabbit
a burnt man gone arye. maybe next year deary

i have returned to the east, i landed in toronto on tuesday and will be face painting outside the greenpeace boat over the weekend. my long range plan is to work here unitl novemeber when i get laid off. hoping to make a trip to ottawa then ( with your computer, now i am using gpc as my pals bsmt appartment has no signal)
i want to save enought money by sleeping on peoples couches to get a car to live in. but a new opportunity may arise for a empowerment therapy to help me get creative that may keep me in t-dot for 20 weeks (at least on mondays)
i understand how life can be & i feel blessed to know you and be involved in your plans, even when they fall apart at the seams ( it happens to everyone)
thanks for the kiss and have a squeeze for fantastic youself
much love and longing until we next meet up on the physical plane.
xoxo,smf

baha-usa-mexixo

location: dabar 82 whyte ave
environment: auqustic gleannings and overhearing. poodles of wet rain pool. sparkels & doorbells

listening while cramming my coffee. "50% of electricity is lost int transmission."
i hear consume local electricity. what natural geographical source is powering my networking
heart aflutter.
bladder bursting
mind spinning

familiar and far

location:
environment:

but i did think about you a lot today. i scaped the land, pulled weeds, raked gravel at a musuem. it was an avaiation-automobile-agirbusiness historical musee
i was under a snowbird airplane today with rake and a few by-planes above in the living sky. sometimes i would do hand stands in the grass when no one was looking. it was very enjoyable. especially when a small child asked me about it, like i (the girl raking stones) was part of the exhibit. i, not being a plane expert asked him to answer his own questions. and he showed me his eyes. one was blue the other both golden brown adn blus, exavctically seametrical. whoa. he said this eyelid was fused togeteher with electricity. it was a great story.
yesterday i got a asked out on a diner date by a couple. i put my best dress on but then invited others along because i was nervous. to be alone;ummm to start something i would just leave later, no matter how good. i left them after a flattered a polite decline., i am making plans to leave here soon. hopefully to the dessert.
i saw the norther lights the first time, dim. but alive
smile.smf

saskatoon berries from the vine

location:dabar

environment:cafinated and healing

where i learned to be a horse womyn. waterton lakes nation pk. 2 mountains north of montana. deers muching on lawns to the point of fensing in flower boxes. inviting myself behind the line at the concession for a bag of popcorn even when the snack bar was closed. marching in time with my pulse as i pull my will towards the peak. the sun is close to my face and i am planting a flag of feeling on my first mountian. using safety pins to attach a suit and tie to become the idiot string of my cowboy hat. lost lonce on a death grip gallop but recovered by a generous hero. realizing that i have countless rolemodels revolving in the inspirational segment of my days. useing the tools at hand. the feet touching the earth. picking mountain yarrow and chewing the flowers. discoving wormwood sage and it's medicinal properties. snacking on thimble and elderberries. feeling the freedom of the flying petals of the creekside wildflowers. rubbing at my calused palm, with it's saddlehorn imprint. loving the pain and speed.